You Know You Are Zimbabwean If

31 May

1. You only buy soft drinks when you have visitors.

2. You think BORED means annoyed, frustrated or disappointed (as in
waakundibhowa manje)

3. You cannot count up to ten in your own language and are proud of it

4. You think plastic bag and paper bag is the same thing.

5. You think perfume and deodorant is the same thing.

6. You know what “the Epilogue” on the T.V is.

7. You think that Coca-cola is the generic name for all soft drinks, Cobra for all floor polish, Surf for all washing powder & Colgate for all toothpaste

8. You only have 3 spices- salt, mhiri phiri and Royco usavi mix.

9. You believe in recycling- old tyres make good shoes, old stockings
are great for shining the floor, newspaper makes good toilet paper and
old cars make good chicken coops.

10. You know there are two classes of people- maSALAD and maSRB but are
not sure where you belong.

11. You bad-mouth the government but never vote.

12. You hear the word WEDDING and immediately think of STEPS.

13. You know what DAMAGES are, in relation to marriage.

14. Your idea of eating out is going to Chicken Inn.

15. You have seen the inside of a blair toilet.

16. For you Christmas means new clothes, and Christmas dinner is rice
and chicken.

17. You have ever named your dog after animals that are not remotely
related to dogs. e.g. Tiger and Spider.

18. Your fridge usually has 2litre Mazoe containers filled with water only

19. You visit a relative without prior notice and will try to stay for
as long as possible (nekuti pane chikafu…)

20. You’ve never been to Victoria Falls, Kariba or Eastern Highlands but have
been to Joburg, Dubai etc several times (madhiri…!)

1 Comment

Posted by on May 31, 2013 in Uncategorized


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One response to “You Know You Are Zimbabwean If

  1. Tafi

    June 12, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    This was fun to read… 10, 13 and 15 are the only ones that apply to me, and I’m very ZImbabwean, lol…


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